A Review of Goblins Know Best, by Daniel Beazley

Every so often a book comes along so in-tune with itself that it helps define the very genre that would try to label it. Goblins Know Best is just such a book.

Goblins Know Best: the Trivial Trials of Bogrot and Gorag by Daniel Beazley is a Fantasy novel told from the perspective of a Goblin chef named Bogrot Blistertooth. Raised in Gert’s Kitchen of the city of Kentai (A city so prone to earthquakes that it holds no permanent structures) Bogrot is a budding chef in his own right, driven to become one of the finest cooks in the land. Often drawn away from his kitchen for errands, adventures, and other misfortunes, he travels in the company of his best friends: a ravenous and rambunctious Orc named Gorag and a talking pony with a victim complex, Mona, acquired after he cooked and ate her brother.

The novel is laid out as an anthology. Rather than chapters each section of varying length is a self-contained story set in chronological order that might contain anything from Bogrot sneaking into an orc gathering to cut a double-crossed Gorag loose from his backstabbing brother, to traveling deep into the swamp for rare slugs that have become the mainstay ingredient in a popular curry. Along the way the pair meet and explore the wildly varied and interesting population and landscapes and play host to a collection of bizarre and genuinely endearing and funny encounters. Following the adventures carves out a world that while still having all the trappings of traditional fantasy tropes manages to feel like an incredibly unique experience that not only subverts the Fantasy genre, but is possibly the best example to date of emphatically non-epic fantasy by way of its focus on the humble goals of its protagonists and the intimate natures of the conflicts. Even minor characters are believable, with their own hopes, goals, ambitions, and shortcomings. They’re not allies or enemies of Bogrot, but they share his world and understand his challenges. Goblins Know Best is an excellent example of character study due to being so far removed from the epic struggles that dominate the genre that it allows you to see these characters in their natural state with their usual struggles. The subtitle ‘Trivial Trials’ perfectly encapsulates not only Bogrot and Gorag, but also our look at each individual character in their world just trying their best to get by.

I make no secret of enjoying works with the classic Tolkien races that so many modern authors try to avoid, or even for having a preference  for Orcs and Goblins in general (probably thanks to Warcraft). But with that said I feel comfortable with the claim that Goblins Know Best is by far my clear favorite out of all the books I’ve read this last year, and the entirety of my read-through was an absolute joy.

You should read this book if you enjoy: Collections of shorter works, Greenskins, copious tongue-in-cheek humor, self-aware writing, genre subversion, and first person perspective.

You should avoid this book if you dislike: Pun names, phonetic spelling of accents, traditional fantasy races (elves, orcs, goblins, trolls, gnomes, centaurs and others all make appearances).

On the Importance of Death

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD for Malazan and Harry Potter.

Writing in fantasy gives authors a unique opportunity to skirt the effects of death by occasionally bringing a character back from beyond the mortal coil.

But should we?

One thing common theme amongst almost all other genres (unless it's the focus of the work) is that death is permanent, the end, full stop. Death can be used as an inciting action, climax, and resolution. Characters spend entire novels getting over the death of a loved one, or coping with their own impending death, or investigating the death of an innocent. And because of its permanent nature it's used to make a powerful statement. Characters die for a reason, or they die for a cause, or they die to show that sometimes death has no reason or cause which is a statement in and of itself. But the idea is death always makes a point one way or another, and it's the sharpest and most permanent statement that a character will ever make. But when death becomes a gray area, it begins to lose some of that poignancy and begins to lose some of the drama. Let's compare two examples of series that handle death differently and what it does to the narratives.

Let me start out by saying that Malazan Book of the Fallen is arguably my favorite series of all time. The story sprawled over a dozen volumes and followed the adventures of over 100 characters in an epic battle to save or destroy the world depending on which POV you're currently following. These are characters you know and love, and become attached to through battle and mundane activity and you feel their struggles. When they die, you feel that too. Never have I been so attached to a character as I was to a certain Malazan sergeant that met his end somewhere in the middle of the series.

The only problem was, by this point in the saga as many as a half dozen characters had already died and survived the ordeal through magical means. Well ok, so what does that mean for my favorite character's death? Well, it reduced the impact significantly. It blunted the point on the statement his death made, because the finality of death had been reduced to a gamble. Whiskyjack is dead, but would we see him again? Death in Malazan becomes less like the cover slamming shut on someone's story and more like going directly to jail in Monopoly. If they can manage to roll doubles, they're back in the game. And the more you think about it, the more you realize that this uncanny room for posthumous plot armor lessens the inherent risk any character faces when they enter a life-threatening situation. The drama dulls. Instead of life or death, we're presented a third option of 'Death, but then...'.

Now let's look at Harry Potter, and sure we're comparing a young-adult modern urban fantasy to a sprawling quasi-medieval epic fantasy. Why not?

Death is a huge deal in Harry Potter. The entire series is incited by the death of Harry's parents at the hand of Voldemort, and Voldemort also happens to be the only character to successfully come back from the dead. And it takes him 4 whole books of the 7 book series to manage it. This sort of thing is what makes him the dark lord, makes him so feared in the wizarding world, the fact that he's literally the only one that can break the rules. With the exception of Harry Potter himself.

But the rest of the cast? Mortal, pure and plain. When they die, they stay dead or they occasionally return as ghosts, but they never return to the life they had before. And there are a lot of good guys that die in Harry Potter. The big one everyone remembers is Harry's godfather, Sirius Black. Fell through the veil into the realm of death. Sure there was some ambiguity, it's a gateway right? Gateways have two sides.

But ultimately, JK's most powerful decision wasn't killing Sirius, it was letting him stay dead. She could have brought him back. The option was there, the fans wanted him to still be alive, and enough mystery surrounded the circumstances of his demise that even though we knew in our hearts that he was gone there was still some glimmer of hope. But because he stayed dead, the statement he made with his death was powerful. The statement of 'The boy who lived must continue to live, and that goal is worth dying for'. It showed how far the Order of the Phoenix was willing to go in order to keep Harry safe because they knew he was the only hope they had against Voldemort.

And because Sirius Black stayed dead, it made the statement of his death more effective than all of the deaths in Malazan where the character rolled boxcars and found their way back to the fight.

What are your thoughts on death and resurrection in fantasy? Let me know, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Scott Warren

A review of Brandon Draga's The Summerlark Elf

It’s no secret that I tend to prefer more consumable, serialized works of fantasy when compared to the meganovels we saw as the industry standard for many years. I believe the genre is finally starting to move away from the 400,000 word entries in sprawling 10-book series spanning across decades. Embittered fans of these works that feel spurned by multi-year gaps between entries are starting to look towards smaller, more contained stories to fill their time. My own books trend towards this philosophy and I look to newer authors as siezing opportunities left by giants of Fantasy.

The Summerlark Elf feels like just such a story. At its heart, The Summerlark Elf is a story about the importance of family, whether by blood or circumstance, and it tells it with genuine warmth and a modest cast of characters whose motivations are clearly expressed over the length of the novel. Fans of traditional fantasy or Dungeons and Dragons will feel right at home among the varied and diverse people of the 4 Kingdoms. All the traditional trappings are here: Elves, dwarves, halflings, thieves guilds, and dark plots that tangle and entrap the heroes of the story and force them to change and adapt to overcome each challenge.

The story itself primarily focuses on Enna Summerlark, an orphaned elf adopted as an infant by a merchant and his wife in a kingdom where fey creatures are persecuted by a king living in fear and his oppressive archmage advisor. Enna is unaware of her mystic origins, whose manifestation lands her in trouble and launches the primary conflicts of the story. For reasons unknown, nefarious powers are interested in Enna, and have dispatched agents to collect her. Don’t expect too many details to be revealed, as this plot hook serves to set up the following volumes in the series.

All in all, The Summerlark Elf feels like a great introduction to the 4 Kingdoms Saga, establishing the world, the cast, the political climate and the culture. It’s reminiscent of the first book of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, in that it serves as a launching point for the other entries in the world of Enna Summerlark and her companions.

You should read this book if you enjoy shorter works of fiction, traditional fantasy trappings, books about familial ties, and earnest adventuring.

You should avoid this book if you prefer longer or self-contained works, more esoteric and unfamiliar settings, and fantasy where magic and the supernatural are kept to a minimum.  

Review - The Hunger: Rotting Frontier

I recently finished reading Rotting Frontier by Dave Atwell. At just a couple hundred pages it's an easy read, and without the heavy commitment required by many modern Fantasy mega novels.

It chronicles the attempt of a family torn and tired of the American Civil War to move west by covered wagon, away from conflict towards the Bozeman trail in hopes of profiting off the gold rush. Along the way they get caught up in the fight between the survivors of a small town and men under a curse called The Hunger that makes them crave human flesh.

Mind you, these aren't zombies. They have similar trappings, but these people retain their senses and faculties as long as they feed, though they become more zombie-like if they allow the condition to progress. Don't go in assuming everything you know about zombies can be applied here. While The Hunger and zombies live in the same house, they aren't related.

The pacing goes back and forth between aspects of day-to-day frontier survival and frenetic action as the members of the troupe deal with clashing personalities and the dangers surrounding the town. It can, at times, get a little monotonous with extended expositions about what each of the dozen or so survivors is doing at any given time, but these sequences tend to end before they wear out their welcome. The characters themselves have realistic flaws and values that drive the drama, to the point where you may get frustrated with the motivations of some of the less appealing personalities. But differences are forgotten when revolvers, rifles, and tomahawks start telling a more action-oriented story as the town comes under attack. Before I knew it the novel was over, and I'll have to look towards the second volume for the continuation of the story.


Fans of Weird West, Civil War era fiction, Zombies, and Powder Fantasy would be remiss on passing up Rotting Frontier. Pick it up if you enjoy any of these things.

Avoid Rotting frontier if you dislike books with violence and some harsh language, character driven stories, and bleak settings.

If you read Rotting Frontier I'd love to hear your comments on it, feel free to post or send me a message.
Scott Warren

5 Things I learned about myself when writing Sorcerous Crimes Division: Devilbone

This is a post I've been meaning to write for over a year. I see lots of articles and blog posts about what new authors learned about writing while penning their first novel, but very few articles on self-assessment after the fact. While I was writing Devilbone I greedily devoured writing advice, knowledge, and strategies for crafting my novel. I was reading fantasy, and writing fantasy, and suffocating on the second floor of a house with no AC in August. But the most important lessons about writing were the ones I learned about myself, and so they may not apply to you as well, but hopefully you'll get something out of it.

1. Being able to identify mistakes in others' work did not stop me from making the same mistakes.

Love triangles, chosen ones, wishy-washy morality lectures, infodumps, and a hundred other tropes and cliches. They stick out like a sore thumb when you're reading a book, but when I sat down and started typing I realized that even aware of them, some writing pitfalls were extremely easy to fall into, and hard to climb back out of. Sometimes I just didn't see a way to accomplish something that wasn't terrible. A lot of time was spent in the re-writes simply removing huge sections and redoing them to try to avoid pitfalls, but I lacked the experience to remove them all.

2. The biggest key to finishing was a working habit I built as an artist.

As part of a behavioral experiment before I ever began outlining a novel, I had long resolved to spend at least one hour per day (for me between 11:00PM and Midnight) working on creative pursuits, regardless of other obligations. To this day as the clock starts creeping towards 10:30 I start wrapping up whatever I'm doing to prepare for my creative hour. When I started Devilbone, the creative hour became an hour in which I could do nothing but write. This rule had two caveats for me. Sunday would be a rest day, and if I spent an extra hour on one day I could 'bank' that hour to miss another day.

Many first-time authors hit stumbling points when they attempt to write, start off with a whole bunch out outlining and worldbuilding, and then burn themselves out in the first 50 pages. By preparing yourself for hard work and extended projects you better acclimate yourself to writing. Patience is just as important as fervor. Even writing an hour a night, or 3-4 pages, so long as you write every night you will have a completed rough draft in 3-4 months. The biggest key to maintaining this discipline is this: Do not skip a day of writing. If you skip a day for a good reason, next time you'll do it for a bad reason, and the next time you won't need a reason. Miss three days in a row, and you've essentially lost the habit and have to start over.

3. All the outlining in the world goes out the window when the narrative demands it.

When I started writing Devilbone, I had a beginning, an ending, and then I started to figure out what would span the gap. I went chapter-by-chapter on the outline, and quickly realized that the approach simply wasn't working for me at all. No plan survives first contact with the enemy.

4. The media I consumed did not inform the Fantasy books I would write.

Devilbone ended up very different than I imagined it would. I thought reading would make me well equipped to emulate several of my favorite authors, but this turned out to be far from the truth. I read Game of Thrones, but had no head for medieval politics or the shenanigans of the noble classes. I read Malazan, but lacked the sense of scope for continent-spanning conflicts, enormous casts, and living worlds. I watched The Wire, but had no grasp on creating intricate investigative efforts and portraying a crime-riddled city. I read 

Once I stepped away from these and began to find my own style I was much happier. The Sorcerous Crimes Division ended up being something completely and wholly different from any of my several influences. And in the end it was better for it. One of the most common things I hear is that Devilbone nails the exact things for which my influences are not typically known. The world is familiar, yet unique, the story is a police/detective procedural that feels completely at home in a medieval fantasy setting, and the pacing is solid despite being half the length of the 500 page meganovels I spend my evenings reading.

5. My decision to self-publish was driven by my personality, not by any discreet plan.

I am a shy person, by nature. I'm sure many writers are. When it came down to deciding whether to self-publish or begin soliciting agents? Well, one route was a great deal less stressful and more immediate. I could never be a salesman, I have a hard time imagining myself trying to push a product on an unsuspecting agent and standing out among hundreds of others. The idea of sending personal letters to dozens of prospective agents terrified me. Self-publishing was a lot of work, but it felt safe and sure.

If you are like me, but decide to commit to the traditional route, you will have to overcome these feelings. Be ready for them, expect them, and hopefully you are able to overcome them. When I decide Vick's Vultures is ready, I may try to pursue a more traditional route, but I feel as though continuing to self-publish will be my go-to path.



Hopefully this list gave any first-time authors some insight into how to self-evaluate their own processes. If you would like to check out some of my work, The Sorcerous Crimes Division is available on Amazon.

-Scott Warren

The Problem with Prophecy

There's no way around it. Prophecy is a pet peeve of mine, and of many Fantasy readers. Chosen Ones and preordained destinies crop up everywhere, and few things kill my interest faster. Reading the words It was foretold in regards to a character, to me, reduces the impact of every decision that character has made within the narrative up to that point.

The primary issue is that once prophecy is introduced in a story, all but three resolutions are typically eliminated.

1) The Chosen One strives to fulfill the prophecy
2) The Chosen One strives to break from the prophecy, but fulfills it unwittingly
3) The Chosen One breaks from the path of the prophecy.

In any case, the prophecy is problematic. It subverts the character agency of the Chosen One, reducing the impact of his/her personal goals and values, motivation, and aspects of the self-concept that typically drive character development. In essence, the prophecy becomes the main character and the Chosen One becomes a vessel for the prophecy to effect its change on the world. In the case of numbers 2 and 3, the character's motivation becomes breaking from the prophecy. And then he either does or doesn't, but it becomes the focus of the story. Usually a story we've all heard before.

In the Wheel of Time, Rand initially rejects his part in the prophecy, then later embraces it and begins to strive to complete it. His fate is never in question, nor is he ever in real danger because of his part in the prophecy of the final battle. Some characters literally cannot die and lose the fear of death because other other characters foresee them living through certain events. It is the ultimate plot armor. The story suffers for it.

Occasionally this trope gets subverted to good effect. In the Discworld we have Carrot, possibly the last king of Ankh Morpork. To him the prophecy of which he is the chosen one is little more than a passing thought to him, one fulcrum upon which the weight of one decision swings, and he makes his choice with an abrupt finality.

Mistborn spoilers ahead:

Another example of excellent subversion is the Mistborn Trilogy. In Mistborn, prophecy and history are one and the same as the main characters attempt to recreate the circumstances leading to the Hero of Ages. The chosen one is thought to be no less than 3 different characters, and a final, fantastically maneuvered twist reveals that it was a fourth all along. I am, unfortunately, the Hero of Ages. In this case the characters still have the faculty of driving the prophecy, and in fact the trope is subverted further by the big bad actively changing the prophecy in an attempt to manipulate the text of the prophecy to suit his needs.


Any other thoughts on prophecy? Feel free to post them here or email me with them.

Peter Newman's The Vagrant, and Negative Prepurchase Amazon Reviews.

I have not been updating this blog with the frequency I would have liked to maintain. But this issue is something I feel warrants a position.

Right now there is a controversy. In essence, Harper Collins released the debut fantasy novel by Peter Newman with a $15 hardcover price. The conflict arises when you navigate to the kindle side and realize the E-book is $20. That's right, the digital version is five dollars more than the physical version, which requires printing, binding, and shipping.

Needless to say, people are pissed. And rightfully so. The second part of the controversy is in how they're handling it. Already several 1 star reviews have cropped up, citing the price as justification even having not read the book, and in a way I agree with the reasoning. Price should absolutely be factored into a review, and at a $20 cost of admission I will likely never read it because I read books almost exclusively on my Kindle. In essence, the book is unacceptable in its current state, and the most effective and direct (and convenient) way to voice that would be to leave a 1-star review and cite the price, as others have done. I have not done that, nor will I. And here's why.

I decided to self-publish Sorcerous Crimes Division for a variety of reasons, namely because I was terrified of the prospect of soliciting dozens of people, in hopes for them to again solicit dozens of people in hopes the book might some day see a publisher. That's a gauntlet of blood, sweat, and tears that I just wasn't prepared to take. So I pulled up my sleeves,  painted my own cover, and pushed Tanner and Vulfort on an unsuspecting populous to a modest, but positive reception.

But If

If I had chosen to go with traditional publishing for my first fantasy novel. And if the publisher decided to use my precious work, and my blood sweat and tears on (what looks to be) some sort of e-book pricing gambit to drive potential buyers to hardcover sales, and if people responded by flooding the page with 1-star reviews... Well, I would be absolutely crushed. It's not hard to imagine my book, sitting at 4.5 stars, dropped to 1.5 or 2 stars because of someone else's actions, and I know that I, as an author, would be devastated. I probably would not have continued to write, and I wouldn't be finishing my second book now and beginning my third.

So please, think before you post a 1-star review that will follow that author just because you're upset with a publisher decision instead. An email to the publisher can make your feelings just as clear without harming Peter Newman's chances as an author.

-Scott Warren